Caught In The Act
As you know, big markets are the domain of lunatics. There is this mad man who lived at this market square but would not be allowed to use the public latrine there. Whenever he used it, children would chase him with sticks and stones or adults would chase him with a whip. Many a time he would go on himself, running from being assaulted. Tired of all the assault, hostilities, and discrimination, he dug himself a latrine and vowed never to let a sane person use it.
One day, this bus full of passengers pulled up at the market square. While a couple of passengers alighted and were getting their luggage off the under carriage of the bus, one of the passengers jumped out of the buss, made straight for the bushes, one hand on his trouser buttons and the other cupping his rear end. He must have eaten something ghat didn\'t agree with his stomach.
Anyway, luckily, he saw the mad man?s latrine and went straight for it, thanking God for the most beautiful sight he ever saw. Before you could say, ?privacy,? he had emptied his entire bowl?s content, oblivious to the fact that half the market was watching him do his duty. With limited materials (sticks and palm fronds), how much privacy could a mad man provide? He brushed that concern aside knowing that if he had waited just one second longer, we would be telling a different tale.
But the onlookers were not interested in staring at the crack of the man?s butt, every one has his own. They were amused for a different reason. They knew the toilet belonged to Iwuala and I?m sure they were wondering what would happen if Iwuala came back and found the man helping himself with his facility. Don?t ask me what he used, to wipe himself up. All I know is, as he was getting ready to pull his pants all the way up, Iwuala came back, firewood in hand, to discover that somebody has been using his Jon.
He dropped his load, picked up the stoutest of the bunch, held it up in an attacking mode and, looking at the man menacingly, screamed, ?Gi-i-i-ni, gini, gini, gini! I marakwa nke bu nke gi, we-e-e-re, were, were, werechakwaa ya, a choghidi m mixture? (Wh-a-a-at, what, what, what! If you know which is yours, ta-a-ke, take, take, take all of it, I don?t want any mixture).
