I HAVE SEX AND THANK GOD

[uapo4]

...don\'t get all juiced up about nothing.  Believe it or not, you, the reader, also have sex.

You must be saying to yourself \"what the heck is uapo4 cooking?\"  Well, the truth of the matter is \"I do have sex and my sex is MALE; you may be MALE or FEMALE sex.\"  Now that I\'ve cleared that up, I want to touch a little bit on what many readers may have thought I was writing about - genital sex (g sex).

I was reading an article today and it became so clear that the latter is just for married couple, simply put.  One may deny it all he/she wants and may give all sorts of excuse (we are good at that), the truth remains - g sex is for married couple only between the two of them physically, spiritually and psychologically.  I don\'t know if this makes sense to anyone, but I thought a little bird somewhere may come by this article some day and hopefully, by God\'s grace, find this rewarding.

Some people seem to suggest that once there is love, it is okay...well, I am not going to be politically correct: it is wrong.  First of all, sex is not equal to love...not even by a close measure; a prostitute can bear witness to this.  Second and my big reason for writing this is \"Have you ever wondered why many to-be couples that sleep together before marriage almost always break-up and actually do so in a very sour way too? :!: \" The statistics in beloved USA for instance shows that the chance of breakup among this kind of couple is about 73% (if my memory serves me right).

If I burst your bubble, pardon me...but I felt real sad after reading the story on FGGC Owerri\'s forum (http://www.fggcowerri.com) about the death of a guy (Okechukwu Ohiri) at the hands of his girlfriend, Abere, mistakingly or not mistakingly (not sure).  And if the stories are exactly true, most of the reason has to do with g sex...the most painful of it is that these are apparently two young folks about to become very successful at least to the eyes of our world just like most of us :cry:

Anyway, I know we all struggle; I struggle...I fall in some regards, but I stand much stronger through God\'s grace.  This does not mean we should not call a spade a spade; in order words, if you have someone looking up to you (which I think we all do - your young one, spouse, spouse-to-be, etc), you owe it to him/her to put your best in acting well not to even talk about our duty to God.  Mistakes are mistakes, but what you\'ve done about it is what counts...if you willing choose to continue the same actions, then no point.  According to Lambardi (a former American football coach) - a mistake is not really a mistake if you learn from it and be better.  May God help us all. Amen.  Peace

[ugbobaby]

uapo,

i agree that premarital sex is not good, it is not right for unmarried people to make love.
But why do you have to conclude that premarital sex is the cause of what happened between the FGGCO alumna and her ex. That is totally erroneous. I know people who had sex before marriage, or who even led rough and fast lives, they changed their lifestyles, settled down and are doing good for themselves.
I am sure that most of these so called \"christians or born agains\" are also unhappy in their marriage but are still in it cuz the bible says divorce is bad. every single one of them cannot be happy. does that mean that God wants us to remain in unhappy situations
You also have to know that some people could be really loving, genuine, nice, good, you name it, but once a couple starts living together, its possible that either of the spouses could become abusive. premarital sex does not describe a person\'s character, you are whom you are whether you remain a virgin or not and it will be exposed in marriage
i did not believe the story i heard cos it was just a one sided gist. but i still pity the girl cos her life has been wasted, 4 yrs in medical school has just gone with the wind

I know premarital sex is not good, but we cannot totally claim that it is the exclusive cause of marital problems

[uapo4]

Thanks Ugbobaby for crucifying me...nah, I\'m kidding; don\'t mind me :twisted: .  Your points are well-taken.  First of all, regarding the statement about so-called christians or born-again being in unhappy marriages, YES that can and has in some cases been the case.  Even I, who\'s writing, do not have things all worked out and know it all.  I am just struggling and doing what I can...this does not mean that my marriage, if that\'s God\'s calling for me, is going to be the sweetest though I pray for that and I plan for it.  Having written that, it is still obvious that we have to be careful about the way we live.  There are obvious things that can cause great discomfort in a marriage - being promiscous, being an alcoholic, being unforgiving or holder to grudges, being impatient, being abusive physically or verbally.  One or two exceptions, if they exist, does not make.  Marriage is not a mere contract, at least not the one I have in mind, it\'s a sacrament and God WILL SURELY BLESS THOSE WHO PUT THEIR BEST IN IT; you probably know by now that it isn\'t all-sweet...there are certainly difficult times that will spring up every now and then.

Regarding the sad story on FGGC Owerri\'s website, I didn\'t conclude that premarital sex is the reason for the unfortunate event.  Come on now, Ugbobaby you can give me that much.  I believe my claim is if the story is true (it\'s at least believable), g sex is a big part of it.  I\'m actually narrowing down on the hiring of a prostitute part and it arousing the just disheartedness of Abere.

Alrighty :twisted:

[ugbobaby]

ma guy, do you know that i only read that post only after i had responded to yours? i was really disappointed that she shud even want a threesome n with a prostitute for that matter. that put her in a weird situation in court am sure.
still am not a big fan of premarital sex being the cause of problems in relationships. comin to the states, i have observed that people make love for diff reason (cos here sex is nothin). some people make love cuz they are actually in love others do it cuz they feel its great, others just have promiscuity running in their blood, still i know premarital sex ain\'t good.

[uapo4]

It\'s a pity  :oops:  :cry:

[Amaka]

I might be a wrong.. wrong person to comment on this topic. I guess premarital  sex is a choice and  it works for most couples. Sometimes i wonder,  why filch what you know for sure is already yours. If you love each other and are willing to get to the extend of geting married why have premarital sex, when you will spend the rest of your life as long as you live having sex  :?: . Trust me i\'m not righteous just making a point lol...

[chinma]

Amaka, i know i raised you right.........just kidding. i love your comment. alot of people actually dont think in that direction.
i have a friend, who has been married for 9 yrs now..........she always says this.........theres no point rushing to have sex, when you get married, you will get tired of having sex.
ugbaby, lovely comment too.
uzoma............okay.

[uapo4]

Well said folks.  It will be nice if more of our married folks can tell us a thing or two that at least I might not know.  Regarding this issue, it is a matter of self-control (supported by genuine prayer) and making wise decisions to avoid succumbing to our human weaknesses...because believe it or not, some, maybe very few, married people still have problem being faithful.  It then becomes obvious that self-control is the key...my opinion is that during courtship, you get to cultivate this in each other. Let\'s support one another and remember each other in prayer (I need it a lot :twisted:  :wink: ); that\'s what a family does.  Peace  

[ugbobaby]

Well said folks.  It will be nice if more of our married folks can tell us a thing or two that at least I might not know.  Regarding this issue, it is a matter of self-control (supported by genuine prayer) and making wise decisions to avoid succumbing to our human weaknesses...because believe it or not, some, maybe very few, married people still have problem being faithful.  It then becomes obvious that self-control is the key...my opinion is that during courtship, you get to cultivate this in each other. Let\'s support one another and remember each other in prayer (I need it a lot :twisted:  :wink: ); that\'s what a family does.  Peace  

erroneous post uapo. not very few, but many couples still have a problem being unfaithful. women are now even more into the game than some men are

[uapo4]

Oh well, I didn\'t know.  Whether it\'s true across the globe or not, I don\'t know...in fact, I think I prefer not to know.  Anyways, I wrote \"maybe very few\"...
...alright, I think that\'s enough of my dwelling on this topic for now.  Let me go and close my door before robbers get in the house :twisted:

\"Mmadu agaghi ano na ona mmechi onu-uzo ndi ozo, nke ya adi oye (open)\"

[chelsea]

I read all ur views and i think un all made ur points but i\'ll like to add this.Whether we agree or not, God Himself has asked us to wait till marriage.I\'m not perfect but i won\'t deny d truth either...but i don\'t agree that premarital sex alone will lead to a marriage breaking down.If u look closely u\'ll find there may be other issues.Well it all depends on people\'s idea of what a marriage is and their relationship with God ( sorry if i sound religious but that\'s my own inclination).I heard the story of a man whose wife was having an extramarital affair which she didn\'t even feel should be kept secret :oops: .Her husband was aware and to add insult to injury she was denying him sex.Then the unthinkable happened...wait 4 it... she got pregnant 4 her lover! :!:  and guess what... she came running back to her husband trying to pin the pregnancy on him but the guy suspected foul play and refused to have sex when she began to beg 4 it.But do u know that this man later took his wife back inspite of everything.I know most guys who read this article will sneer and say,\'\'what d heck\'\' but i think that man had an understanding of what the marrige covenant is all about.I\'m not saying that people should cheat.My point is that fornication nor adultery need not lead to a divorce as long the parties concerned acknowledge their wrong doing, are truly repentant and are willing to change.

[chelsea]

I read all ur views and i think un all made ur points but i\'ll like to add this.Whether we agree or not, God Himself has asked us to wait till marriage.I\'m not perfect but i won\'t deny d truth either...but i don\'t agree that premarital sex alone will lead to a marriage breaking down.If u look closely u\'ll find there may be other issues.Well it all depends on people\'s idea of what a marriage is and their relationship with God ( sorry if i sound religious but that\'s my own inclination).I heard the story of a man whose wife was having an extramarital affair which she didn\'t even feel should be kept secret :oops: .Her husband was aware and to add insult to injury she was denying him sex.Then the unthinkable happened...wait 4 it... she got pregnant 4 her lover! :!:  and guess what... she came running back to her husband trying to pin the pregnancy on him but the guy suspected foul play and refused to have sex when she began to beg 4 it.But do u know that this man later took his wife back inspite of everything.I know most guys who read this article will sneer and say,\'\'what d heck\'\' but i think that man had an understanding of what the marrige covenant is all about.I\'m not saying that people should cheat.My point is that fornication nor adultery need not lead to a divorce as long the parties concerned acknowledge their wrong doing, are truly repentant and are willing to change.

[UzoLance]

Chelsea, i completely understand what you are saying. If a couple can over look the disastrous effects of adultery and mend things up, then by all means, they should. But if they cant stay together, i advice that they shouldnt try to. A man should not put his wife away for any other reason but adultery. A woman should not leave the husband for any other reason but adultery. In a situation that either one of them puts away or leaves for any other reason, they will be comitting adultery with new found lovers and making their partner who has been put away or left ,as the case maybe, to commit adultery. The claim of realization and repentance shouldnt cut it. If wounds are still open, none should punish the other in the name of  relationship, they should call it quits maturely. Am sure you know where am coming from.

[festus]

uapo4,

I indeed have regular sex and thank my ancestors without whom I won\'t be here (they had sex and I appeared as a consequence). On a serious note, I will recommend a book you should read before completely buying into the typical ambivalent victorian attitude to sex we inherited from colonialism. The book is called \'Phallic Worship: The History of Sex and Sexual Rites\' by George Ryley Scott.

Now, I am not saying that sex should be free for all but that considering that practically sex is how we all came into this world then it must be respected but not associated with perversion or any of that 17th and 18th century Victorian prudishness popular with Nigerian Christians. I will like to quote Aldous Huxley who understood the fact that Christianity is a very sexual religion, at least originally. The bible is filled with sex - one good example  is Onan whose name is now used interchangibly with masturbation - Onanism; Who did \'God\' send the two jewish spies to during the fall of Jericho? Remember that the Jewish scribe class, the seducees and pharisees accused Christ of rolling with sinners (modern equivalent of pimps, freaks, hos and you know who).

Do you know what Christs best friend Mary Magdalene used to do or even his friend Lazarus? Even Mary the mother of Christ had a child outside wedlock whether you believe the \'holy ghost\' is responsible or not (I am sure if your girl friend told you the holy ghost is responsible, you will tell her to tell the holy ghost to pay child support).

Any how, bros, here is the quote from Huxley.

\'...Why, the Christians themselves understood phallism a great better than this godless generation. What\'s that phrase in the marriage service? \'With my body I thee worship\'. Worshipping with the body - that\'s the genuine phallism.\'

Aldous Huxley - Point Counter Point 1928

[uapo4]

:mrgreen:
Whenever I see a reply to this topic, I shiver a bit  :lol: .  Thanks Festus, I acknowledge the recommended book.