WHAT the Rules of Life really are

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Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really
are.

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic
beverages of any kind.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn\'t move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and
it shouldn\'t, use the duct tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
relationship are \"I apologize\" and \"You are right.\"

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It\'s
easier to eat crow while it\'s still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave
you was: \"Go! You might meet somebody!\"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -
believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, \"Will this
matter one year from now? How about one month? One week?
One day?\"

9. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have
another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable
because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that
the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it\'s not that important.

13. And finally, be really nice to your friends and family.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.

unknown author

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1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That is why you pay \"them!\"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever.
Never let the brain idle.
\"An idle mind is the devil\'s workshop.\"
And the devil\'s name is Alzheimer\'s.
.
4. Enjoy the simple things.

.5. Laugh often ... long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.
.
6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
.
7. Surround yourself with what you love ...
whether it\'s .. family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
.
8. Cherish your health.
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
.
9. Don\'t take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall ... even to the next county .
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them ..
at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don\'t send this to at least 8 people .. Who
Cares!
But do share this with someone. We all need to live
life to its fullest each day.
------George Carlin----

[okey]

lol  :lol: