Author Topic: Girlfriend 7.0 vs Wife 1.0  (Read 2034 times)

chinelo

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Girlfriend 7.0 vs Wife 1.0
« on: April 13, 2005, 03:56:04 PM »
A friend sent me this and it really cracked me up....... :lol:

THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST:


Dear Systems Department,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my

program from

Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new

program began

unexpected child Processing and also took up a lot of

space and valuable resources.

This wasn\'t mentioned in the product brochure. In

addition Wife 1.0

Installs itself into all other programs and launches

during systems

Initialization and then it monitors all other system

activities.



Applications such as \"Boys\' Night out 2.5\" and \"Golf

5.3\" no longer Run,

and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting

to operate

Selected \"Saturday Rugby 6.3\" always fails

and \"Saturday Shopping 7.1\" runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background

whilst attempting to run any of my favourite
applications.

Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to \"Girlfriend7.0\", but

uninstall doesn\'t work on this program.

Can you please help?

>

>

... AND THIS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;



Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic

misunderstanding of the functions of the \"wife1.0
\"program.

Many customers upgrade from \"Girlfriend 7.0\" to \"Wife

1.0 \" thinking that \"Wife 1.0\" is merely a UTILITY

AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, \"Wife 1.0 \" is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed

by it\'s Creator to Run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge \"Wife 1.0 \"and

still convert back to \"Girlfriend 7.0 \", as \"Wife 1.0
\" was not

designed to do this and it is Impossible to uninstall,
delete

or purge the program files from the System once it is
installed.

Some people have tried to install \"Girlfriend 8.0 \"or
\"Wife 2.0 \"

but have ended up with even more problems.

(See manual under Alimony/Child Support and
Solicitors\' Fees).



Having \" Wife 1.0 \" installed, I recommend you keep it

installed And deal with the difficulties as best as
you can.

When any faults or problems Occur, whatever you think

has caused them, you must run the

C:\\APOLOGIZE\\FORGIVE ME Program

and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key

for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\\APOLOGIZE\\FORGIVE ME

for a number of times, and eventually hope that

the operating system will return to normal.



\"Wife 1.0 \", although a very high maintenance program,

can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional

Software such as \"Flowers 2.0\" and \"Chocolates 5.0\"

or \"HUGS\\KISSES 600.0\" or

\"TENDERNESS \\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0\",

or even \"Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1\"

(if child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install \"Secretary 2.1\"

(Short Skirt Version) or \"One Nightstand 3.2\"

(Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported

Application for \"Wife 1.0 \"and the system will almost
definitely crash.

GOOD LUCK :wink:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The world is dangerous not because of those who do harm, but because of those who look at it without doing anything -Albert Einstein

uapo4

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Girlfriend 7.0 vs Wife 1.0
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2005, 07:49:50 PM »
LOL :lol:  :lol: :mrgreen:
This is so good. It\'s funny how people can describe experiences in life with computer jargon. Well, the analyst told him well. One of the parts I find funny and ridiculous in the guy\'s statement is
Quote

program began unexpected child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.


For one, the dude started the child processing with Wife 1.0 so he shouldn\'t complain :twisted: Secondly, the guy must be mumu not to read the amount of space and resources required to install a program. Even though those things could be long to read, if he spent a little more time before installing Wife 1.0 or at least asked those who have installed it, he would have had a better idea of how much of the resources and space will be used :wink:

Anyway, he should chill out...Wife 1.0 at least operates his system. Girlfriend 7.0 will eventually uninstall itself and upgrade itself to Wife 1.0 for another system and wasting his resources in the process if he doesn\'t act fast enough, LOL :twisted:
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1

Susia

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Girlfriend 7.0 vs Wife 1.0
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2005, 09:57:52 PM »
I really enjoyed this!!!!!! .Isn\'t it amazing stuff pple come up with?

Loving this!!
Begin with the determination to suceed and the work is half done already.

checkj

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Girlfriend 7.0 vs Wife 1.0
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2005, 02:15:05 AM »
funny
Seek first to understand, and then to be understood