Author Topic: DIVORCE LETTER  (Read 4495 times)

uapo4

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DIVORCE LETTER
« on: September 28, 2005, 09:40:33 PM »
Of course, not me - thank God :D   Read below and comment...all of us who are \"marriage and love experts\", it will be nice to know what your take is on this:

Quote
Dear Husband:
 
I\'m writing you this letter to tell you that I\'m leaving you for good.  I\'ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.  Last week, You came home and didn\'t notice that I had gotten my hair and nails
done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came
home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.  
You don\'t tell me you love me anymore, you don\'t touch me or anything.  Either you\'re cheating or you don\'t love me anymore, whatever the case is, I\'m gone.
 
P.S.  If you\'re trying to find me, don\'t. Your BROTHER and I are Moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
 
Your EX-Wife
 
 -----------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.  It\'s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry  from what you\'ve been.  I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.  Too bad that doesn\'t work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was \"You look just like a man!\" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can\'t say anything nice.  When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had  just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all this I still loved you and felt that we could work it  out.  So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason I guess.  I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won\'t get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S.  I don\'t know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother Was born Carla. I hope that\'s not a problem.
     
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1

chizor

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2005, 11:18:37 PM »
ouch!!!!   :lol:  :lol:
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn\'t seem quite so funny.
--Jack Handey,

fresco

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2005, 03:43:39 AM »
LOL.

UzoLance

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2005, 05:42:31 AM »
Uzoma,
Am sure there must be a reply from this ex wife.  After reading the husband\'s reply, i scrolled down to see if there was another reply from the wife.  There\'s a hunger to see her response. How action packed it must be.
Hight and Age doesnt depict Maturity.

Susia

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2005, 06:49:29 AM »
This is hilarious! . For real, I will like to know the ex-wife response to her husband\'s reply.

Poor woman, if only she knew.
Begin with the determination to suceed and the work is half done already.

uapo4

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2005, 07:36:05 AM »
:D  :D I think that one of the points of the story is not to make a big decision without your spouse being a part of it; although, divorce is not a decision to look forward to or recommended anyway :twisted:
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1

danteh

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2005, 05:11:44 PM »
I guess the husband and wife suffered from lack of communication. They never talked, just hid a facade. I really wanted to know what happened after the wife got the reply. A real sucker punch. lol :lol:  :lol:
The future belongs to those who dare to dream!. I dare to dream!!

uapo4

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2005, 05:33:34 PM »
Quote from: \"danteh\"
I guess the husband and wife suffered from lack of communication. They never talked, just hid a facade. I really wanted to know what happened after the wife got the reply. A real sucker punch. lol :lol:  :lol:

LOL...but common, if the husband loved his wife, he\'s gotta to at least tell her not when he\'s writing the letter, he\'ll now know how to write it properly :twisted: :mrgreen:
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1

chinma

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2005, 01:13:57 AM »
i would like to know the wife\'s response.  leaving her husband for his brother.............noooooooo.

objobj

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2005, 09:00:59 AM »
since almost everyone wants to know the wife\'s reply......it will go something like this...here it comes.......

dear hubby,
i\'ll jump off the brooklyn bridge, and my death will be on your conscience.
from your,
dead ex-wife

 :cry:
I am too Blessed to be Stressed

UzoLance

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2005, 06:46:32 PM »
How about,


Dear Current Husband,
Nawa for youooo just little joke i played with you and you fell all the way. Me ke, run with your brother? Tufiakwa. All the while i have been hiding in the kitchen cooking you a soup that has no pork meat.  I have even given my friends daughter that dress with the price tag on it. I actually bought it for her but while i was testing it you came in.

Lol, it\'s funny you mentioned nagging, it\'s actually an experiment we were asked to carry out in one of our sunday school meetings and find out for our selves how disastrous it is.

I have gone shopping to buy you some clothes, i see you need new ones. You know how i love taking care of you SWEETIE.

Don\'t go anywhere, in two days i will return from shopping. I have and will always love you.

Your caring non-nagging, wonderful cook of a current wife.
Hight and Age doesnt depict Maturity.

uapo4

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2005, 07:58:24 PM »
Chei!!!! Egwu aba mu anya ** this is scary**
Uzo Lance, you are one international Maradona :twisted:  :twisted:  I mean Objobj had a great follow-up, but yours just shoots off the ceiling in good rating :D  :D   I should find you when next I get in trouble or deadlock 8)
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1

chinma

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2005, 03:55:24 AM »
uzo lance, i like that one. women are really clever huh

checkj

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DIVORCE LETTER
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2005, 03:33:26 AM »
@Uzo Lance

that\'s more like it
Seek first to understand, and then to be understood