Author Topic: FUNNIES FROM LOONIES  (Read 8733 times)

Prince

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FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #30 on: March 18, 2005, 11:33:51 AM »
The Sin Of A Catholic Priest

A lunatic was at the mass (Catholic service) one Sunday.  During communion, he watched as an endless stream of parishioners filed towards the altar, to receive their communion.  The priest was giving this thing away like there?s no tomorrow.  I mean every person who walked up to the priest got one.  The lunatic was perplexed beyond measure.  He must have thought somebody ought to advise this man on his generosity.  So he walked straight to the priest and told him point blank, ?Obi oma gi nkea e feela oke, o daala gi iberibe; e chere m si o ghoola njo ogbugbu? (Your generosity is so much, it?s bordering stupidity; I think it has become a mortal sin).
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool.

If you s-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l what the Prince - is - cooking!!

(Adapted from WWE’s Rock.)

Susia

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FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #31 on: March 18, 2005, 08:25:33 PM »
LOL @ Prince, You must have came in contact with alot of lunatic in Nigeria. Am loving the Jokes. Bring it on !!!!!!!!
Begin with the determination to suceed and the work is half done already.

Prince

  • Posts: 438
FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #32 on: March 18, 2005, 08:58:49 PM »
Hey, my policy is, hunt for knowledge anywhere possible, even in the strangest of places; you don\'t know where you will find gold.
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool.

If you s-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l what the Prince - is - cooking!!

(Adapted from WWE’s Rock.)

Prince

  • Posts: 438
FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2005, 07:04:42 AM »
The Burned Out Roof

A mad man set his house ablaze, and looking around through the burned out roof, he said, ?E-hee! Ugbua, ihe e meena? (Alright! Now, it is much brighter).
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool.

If you s-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l what the Prince - is - cooking!!

(Adapted from WWE’s Rock.)

chinelo

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FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #34 on: March 30, 2005, 02:34:10 PM »
is it just me or do u have a preference for mad men jokes? i mean it in a good way though cos they r original and with d igbo mix again :lol:
The world is dangerous not because of those who do harm, but because of those who look at it without doing anything -Albert Einstein

Prince

  • Posts: 438
FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #35 on: March 31, 2005, 02:03:56 AM »
Oooooh, Chinelo, my sis, you never fail to floor me with your humorous disposition. Funny Susia did wonder about it too.

As a matter of fact, I can draw a few smiles here and there, when humor meets life.  I happen to think that the site has enough of those.  What\'s the glory in carrying coal to New Castle?

You see, haven\'t I succeded in attracting your notice?  I\'m the one to follow the crowd.
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool.

If you s-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l what the Prince - is - cooking!!

(Adapted from WWE’s Rock.)

objobj

  • Posts: 89
FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2005, 09:16:31 AM »
Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually,
Michael, the Archangel, found him resting on the seventh
day.

He inquired of God. \"Where have you been?\" God sighed a
deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward
through the clouds, \"Look, Michael. Look what I\'ve made.\"

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, \"What is it?\"

\"It\'s a planet,\" replied God, \"and I\'ve put Life on it. I\'m
going call it Earth, and it\'s going to be a great place of
balance.\"

\"Balance?\" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. \"For
example, Northern Europe will be a place of great
opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to
be poor. Over there I\'ve placed a continent of white
people, and over there is a continent of black people.\"
\"Balance in all things,\" God continued pointing to
different countries. \"This one will be extremely hot, while
this one will be very cold and covered in ice.\"

The Archangel, impressed by God\'s work, then pointed to a
land mass and said, \"What\'s that one?\"

\"Ah,\"said God \"That\'s Washington State, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and
forests. The people from Washington State are going to be
handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are
going to be found traveling the world. They will be
extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they
will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and
carriers of peace.\"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then
proclaimed, \"What about balance, God? You said there would
be balance.\"

God smiled, \"There is another Washington. Wait til you see
the idiots I put there!\"
I am too Blessed to be Stressed

uapo4

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FUNNIES FROM LOONIES
« Reply #37 on: May 10, 2005, 11:26:21 PM »
Hey, this is just wrong! :D  There are many things I haven\'t read here...anyway, thank goodness I came across this. The jokes are just wrong :mrgreen:
I heard this joke about two lunatics in Onitsha. Here it goes:
Two lunatics were in Onitsha Main Market and in an open place. A nice song was blasting and one of the lunatics started dancing; I must point out that his dance moves likely had no rhythm to it.  While people were clapping their hands in amusement, the other lunatic turned around and tapped someone next to him.  The lunatic exclaimed \"Chei! there\'s nothing one won\'t see in this Onitsha market\". [The funny thing is his reaction is part of what strange about the situation]

On the other hand, there\'s another story about a lunatic. This one is not really a joke; it\'s about not neglecting anyone as valueless.  A man was traveling with his car going to the northern part of Nigeria. On the way, one of his car tires rolled off and the nuts got missing. The man, fortunately, was able to keep the car under control until it came to a stop.  He then stood beside his car waiting for help.  He waited for long, but no help came by. Finally, a mad man walking along the road looked at the car owner and smiled. He asked him what the problem was and the owner replied \"the nuts are missing but I recovered the tire. I can\'t move this car\".  The mad man laughed and exclaimed \"all you have to do is get one nut from each of the other tires of your car and nut the fourth tire up to your car!\" 8)
"Incline Thy ear, O Lord, and hear me: for I am needy and poor" -- Psalm lxxxv. 1